By Tris Lashea ‘22
Candis Cox, an LGBTQ educator, lecturer, and advocate was a special guest to UNC Asheville’s campus, hosted by the Sociology and Anthropology Club, where she delivered a talk on her experiences as a black transgender woman in the South, titled This is Me. Cox is known for being the first and only transgender person to meet with Governor Pat McCrory about his anti-LGBT “bathroom bill” HB2, as well as her experience with multiple LGBTQ organizations including Equality NC.
Cox spoke to a diverse audience that included community members, faculty, and students, but still connected to each person in Lipinsky Auditorium on November 7, 2019. Her lecture, which included a question-and-answer session and a meet-and-greet, was unique due to her humor, interactiveness, confidence and most importantly her story.
Cox had no problem getting close with the crowd during the talk, which she discussed growing up; her transition, including surgeries and recovery; the experience of becoming a woman; her romantic life; her husband and her advocacy work.
“There is no rulebook for how one transition or an endpoint for the transition. My transition is a part of my humanity, it’s a part of this human experience that I’m going through. Gender expression is how you choose to express yourself outwardly. Gender identity is how you choose to identify,” Cox said.
Cox said her mom is one of her biggest inspirations and idols. Her mom was a flight attendant before deciding to get her medical degree and was the first African American woman to attend Wake Forest School of medicine. She also helped fund Cox’s surgeries and never left her side as she transitioned into being a woman. It was a transition that could be challenging at times.
“The first thing I didn’t love about being a woman is feeling like my IQ was dropping, and people were not talking to me, it was always about the image,” Cox said in response to a student question. “The first thing I did love was becoming a part of the unspoken sisterhood that black women have. Because I had become what I loved most, a black woman. Everything great in my life was black women; the strongest things I had ever known were black women.”
Cox also made sure to express her strong belief in therapy and getting help when you are in need. Cox struggled with depression and loneliness herself as she was growing up, and especially after her surgery when she was bedridden. She wanted the audience to realize they are not alone, and that everyone needs help to be happy and healthy.
Cox’s lecture encouraged every member of the audience to think deeply about society and their own voice, and to speak up about their beliefs and to make the change, and not to wait for someone else to do it.
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