Roommate Relationships

One of the most important people in your college experience is your roommate. She or he can be the source of deep friendship, chronic aggravation, or someplace in between, depending on how the two of you get along. Here are a few suggestions that will make a difference.

- Spend time with your roommate. It's easier to live with a friend than to coexist with an enemy.

- Share your space. It's amazing how much stuff will really fit into a residence hall room, but be conservative with how much you initially bring (enough for your desk, dresser, and closet). If you need more stuff later, you can bring it from home during breaks or on weekends.

- Work out an agreement on cleaning. Conflicts over unmade beds, unwashed dishes, and the like can often cause feuds. Plan to clean more than once a semester and divide up the cleaning responsibilities. If someone isn't carrying her or his share of the load discuss it before it becomes a major irritation.

- Be open about sharing (or not sharing) some possessions. How does your roommate feel about sharing her or his possessions? Some roommates don't mind and others do. Always ask before you use something of your roommate's.

- Not everyone's taste in decorating is the same. Combine styles and tastes to create something new. Don't compromise your individuality, but be willing to work with someone else's.

- Arrange your study schedule. If you plan to do most of your studying in the room, let your roommate know. Do you study best with noise from the radio or television, or is silence most conducive? Agree on some general hours and change only after a discussion of the need/desire to reschedule.

- Meet other people. Don't depend on your roommate to satisfy all of your social needs. Make other friends and get involved in activities that take you out of your room.

- Take good messages for your roommate or be sure to save the voicemail so that she/he can hear it later. Post messages in a visible, agreed-upon place in the room.

- Keep the lines of communication open. Chances are good that if something about the living situation is bothering you, it's also bothering your roommate.

- Finally, think of your living situation as a household. Ideally, the concerns of a household are the concern of each of its members. No single member should dominate nor feel oppressed. It's a balanced life-style you're seeking.

If problems arise and you cannot resolve them between yourselves, see your RA. Ask about mediation options and remember that in this type of situation, it is often less a question of who's right or wrong than simply an issue of communication