Parental
Relationships—A Guide for Incoming Freshmen
By Josh Mlot, Sophomore, Miami University
The time is approaching when new freshmen will
be entering college. For some people, that means leaving home for
the first time ever—at least for any extended period of time. I know
that for me, getting away from home and the lack of parental control
was a big
factor in choosing where I'd go to school. Getting far
away from home isn't for everyone though. No matter where you end up
going to college, the relationship you have with your parents will
most likely change and evolve.
Even if you've been waiting years to live
under a different roof than your parents, remember there are many
issues involved with moving away from home. Everyone's experience is
a little different—some people become very homesick, while others
love freedom from the very first moment. Having to cope with life on
your own will not only
make you learn more about yourself, but may
also make you realize how much your parents have done for you
throughout your life, especially when many parents are the
ones
footing the bill for their child's college education. After having
to hunt down a meal
on your own, clean up after yourself, pay your
own bills, do the dreaded laundry, and conquer life's crises on your
own, you'll be reminded of how convenient it was to always have a
parent there to help and tell you everything would be okay.
Not only will these experiences result in a
newly found appreciation of your parents, who previously seemed
overbearing, but they will also cause you to learn more about
yourself. As cliché as it sounds, college is the time when you
discover many things about who you were, who you are, and who you
want to be. Part of this is because our parents aren't always there
to bail us out when we find ourselves in deep trouble. It's amazing
how
much we learn when forced to do things on our own.
All of this boils down to a growing respect
for ourselves and for our parents. As we begin to take ourselves
more seriously, so does everyone else. The most common change in
parental relationships between new college students and their
parents is a greater
amount of respect exhibited by each side for
the other. Our parents see us as more mature individuals with
something to contribute to the world, and we see our parents less as
tyrannical dictators and more as fellow human beings. Jonathan Saphire, a Miami University junior, says, "They expect more and
limit me less. I have seen more of the human side of them. They
still find things to get angry about, but they respect me more, and
we get along better."
Not everyone will have the same experiences
when they go to college, but many times people find that respect
increases in their relationship with their parents. This is
important as families learn to no longer interact on a
parent-to-child basis, but on an adult-to-adult level.
http://www.collegeview.com/college/collegelife/preparing/parental_relationships.html
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