Common Expectations, Patterns, and "Mistakes"
in Relationships

 Each person begins a relationship with his/her hopes, expectations,
and ideals. Unfortunately, some of these are unrealistic, unfair, and
even self-defeating. They may also doom the relationship to be unsatisfying  
and to eventually fail.

Among the more common expectations and patterns are:

•   Expecting that he/she will change.

•   Hoping that he/she will never change.

•   Assuming that your partner thinks and reacts as you do.

•   Assuming that your partner knows your wants and needs.

•   Expecting that he/she has the same priorities, goals and interests as you.

•   Believing that the relationship will fulfill all of your social, intellectual, and
    personal needs.

•   Giving up other interests, activities, and friends.

•   Seeking improved self-esteem through the relationship.

•   Feeling incomplete without a relationship.

•   Expecting that each new relationship is "the one."

•   Expecting that he/she will never make mistakes.

•   Viewing conflict as a threat to the relationship and to be avoided at all costs.

•   Working hard to get the relationship started, but exerting little effort to keep
    it going.

•   Trying to be what he/she wants, rather than being yourself.

•   Not understanding that feelings of love and passion change with time, as do 
    your priorities and expectations.
  
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